My wife loves me, kinda.

So, I’m having a math-related panic attack here as I try to study for a mid-term I have in Calculus II tomorrow, and my wife is being very understanding and trying to help and take care of me and so forth.  I took a Klonopin, and she walked the dog and ordered dinner.  When the sushi got here, I went to put the dog away in order to avoid a sushitastrophe.  When I got back, she says, “I got spoons,” and I think, “Oh, she’s taking such good care of me.”  I sit down and see a bottle of beer on the table in front of me, and I say, “Aw, you got me a beer.”  “No, Mr. Klonopin, I got ME a beer.”

Such a loving spouse.